I've been thinking a lot tonight about a soldier who is trained for battle. When they enter enemy territory they are immediately on guard, shielded in protective armor and respond instinctively. I imagine they must be fearful but rely on the knowledge they have gained from intensive training. So what are we to do when we are thrust into battle? Into the unknown? Surrounded in fear? I discovered tonight that my instinct is to raise my hands to my heavenly Father in complete and utter dependence. I feel terrified and brokenhearted but I find myself repeating over and over again in my head...I know my God is with me, I know my God is with me. Somehow, I find the courage to face this news.Gracie was taken to the Geneticist at Vanderbilt on August 1st and though he did not feel that Gracie had BWS, he did concede to testing her for it to give us the peace of mind we were needing. It is a DNA test that generally takes 4-8 weeks to return results. Today we were at 4 weeks and 4 days. The results came back and Gracie did test positive for Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome. I immediately felt grateful to God for giving me the motherly intuition to push through the "No, I really don't think she has it" comments and urge for testing. God had prepared my heart for this long ago but it is still broken by the affirmation.
We have a long road ahead of us. I pray that Gracie does not have one single complication from this diagnosis and becomes another great testimony of God's protective hand. We will have ultrasounds of her kidneys and liver every 3 months until age 10. The most common cancers associated with BWS are Wilms tumor and hepatoblastoma. Due to their fast growth, we must keep a close eye on her. Please pray with us that Gracie will never have to face a cancer diagnosis.
No matter what happens, I know that God's love for our family is endless. He has provided us with many blessings and leading us to this discovery is a new one. I am scared and feel so helpless but I find strength in a great promise. I know that we will never walk one step of this alone.
4 comments:
Your family is in our continued prayers. Your family will come through this difficult time and be shining on the other side. Much love, The Shaw's
We will be praying for you guys and especially for Gracie that God will keep His hand on her and protect her. You're in our thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry to hear this news. Please know of my continued prayers for your entire family. God is walking with you. He will never leave you or forsake you. As your Dad's pastor, Frank Cox, has reminded all of us, when you can't see His hand, trust His heart. I am only a phone call or an email away if you need anything at all.
Dear Jennifer: I am Mark's dad. Please know that Gracie and your family are in our prayers. There's nothing that I can say that will give you comfort in this time except God is in control. The Psalmist says in the 9th Psalm vs. 9-10 "the Lord will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in a time of trouble, for the Lord has not forsaken those who seek Him." and I am sure you are seeking Him moment by moment. God Bless. Be assured of my prayers and the prayers of this dear church.
Carl Marshall
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