Looking for answers...

I love having three children. They are the loves of my life. I even consider myself a fairly "seasoned" caretaker of young children at this point. I know how to handle their day to day care, their illnesses, temper tantrums, feedings, diaper duties, developmental milestones and the list goes on. No matter how well-equipped I may seem, the one thing I do not handle well is the "What if...?" question. Whenever something abnormal arises (i.e Jake's nystagmus) in one of my children, I immediately fear the worst. Thank goodness I have my very own baby doctor to run to with all of the fearful questions. The #1 rule Aaron has set in place for me is that I can't go self-diagnose on the Internet. I broke that rule this afternoon but I feel like I censored my search well. I didn't immediately jump to the worst diagnosis possible and call him crying. (I may have been guilty of that in the past, so you see, I'm getting better!) To my surprise Aaron actually enjoyed the research I had been doing and agreed that we are dealing with an issue that needs further investigation. Now to explain the problem that needs answers...

I look at Grace and see the most beautiful baby in the world. She has completely stolen my heart, just as her sister and brother did when they were babies. No abnormality Gracie has will ever change the beauty I see when I look at her. I know all mothers feel that way and so some times it is hard to open ourselves up to the thought that something may not be quite right. I have been amazed at the motherly instinct God sets in motion at the moment of conception though. I am very grateful for it because it has helped me be cognisant of an abnormality in Gracie's mouth from the day after her birth. Having had two children before, I was quick to realize that something was different. Gracie's tongue was protruding from her mouth all of the time. She did not seem to ever completely close her lips around her tongue. I talked to Aaron about it early on and he acknowledged that it was different and said we should just keep our eye on it. Gracie's pediatrician told me the same thing. Now, six months has passed and I am more aware of it than ever before. I have been told that Gracie will outgrow it and that while it does go along with several syndromes (Down Syndrome, BWS, etc.), Gracie has no other accompanying symptoms that would lead to a positive diagnosis of one of those illnesses. Now here comes that motherly intuition. I've been told to "wait and see" but I've had concern all along that it was going to cause problems when we try to introduce solid foods. Sure enough, we have reached the 6 month point and Gracie needs to be able to spoon feed solid foods at this age. She is having difficulty due to the the positioning of her tongue. We get a little bit in her but most of it winds up on her bib or on me. I called the doctor again and we have an appointment June 28th. I'm not leaving there until I have an answer or at least a plan in place. I can handle any problem with one of my children but I have to have a plan of action set in place. Once I know what it is and know how to handle it, I can return to a peaceful state of mind. I hear enough stories from Aaron's work in the NICU to be thankful that I'm just dealing with a tongue issue and not something life-threatening. His job really gives us perspective. While I would love for my children to never experience pain or discomfort of any kind, I know that is not possible. I can only vow to be their greatest advocate for their health and never fail to pray for God's intervention.